On Being an Artist

I’ve been a dancer my whole life. It’s something I grew up with and something I grew into. Sharing that aspect of my life almost feels natural at this point. After 10+ years of performance I’ve become accustomed to sharing movement thoughts and ideas openly, exploring, playing, and just being under the scope of an audience (whoever they may be). There are definitely times where I feel less confident in what I’m sharing than others. There are also times when I find myself comparing myself to the next person. In this field, it’s hard not to. At the same time, however, I can always rely on my sense of self as a mover to reassure myself of any negative feelings I may experience. I’ve had years of practice.

I proposed Project Playtime because I wanted to create new kinds of art for myself without the pressure of having to be good. What I didn’t consider, unfortunately, is how intense it is to start in a new style of art. I have a lot of friends that do various art forms extremely well and I constantly felt uncomfortable starting a project, let alone sharing it. That overwhelming feeling I got over the summer extends to the classes I’m taking this semester as well. I’m taking a lot of courses involving technology–Intermedia, Video Production, Lighting, Sound Design–that are so unfamiliar when it comes to creating that I’m almost afraid to start. I took for granted the comfort it took years for me to foster in the studio.

It shouldn’t be this way. I shouldn’t be afraid to share what I create, but I am. I fail to remember, and some people fail to even realize, how difficult it is to share yourself every single day. As an artist we are always on display, even in our more intimate moments, and that is such a beautiful and taxing thing to do.

I’m here to say thank you. Thank you to all of those artists that share themselves at every degree, know that you are appreciated, and keep shamelessly creating. You never know who you are inspiring.

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